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THE FUNCTIONAL DISFUNCTIONING FAMILY
The basis for this article, is that the family is the place where many things are learnt such as, relationship, respect, value, authority, to name but a few. But in our western world of work ethics, the family is no longer the primary foundation for our society, but business has replaced it with principles of profit, doing, value for money, power and control, amongst others. No longer are people regarded as human beings, but as human doings. To do is to earn, profit, no longer are we beings, able to be, be in relationship with one another and also with God.
The roll of parent, is now seen very much as secondary to that of the person who can enable a business to earn extra amounts in profit. The human being, is no longer seen as that person who enables being in relationship, but they are now seen as part of the business cog, an element of the business, and in many instances the element that enables the business to make the money.
Many elements exist in today’s society to enable parents to go out to work, tax credits, child minders, rap-around care at schools, extended schools, all of which exist to enable business to make money, failing to realise the deficit it leaves upon the children, or the family in general, and the damage that this approach causes to society.
Token elements such as flexible working hours have been brought in to working life, it is suggested to enable some kind of a balance between the work life and the family life. But these elements are purely tokenistic, because if the parent can’t be flexible within the construct of the business terms, then it will be the parent who loses out and thus the family, and thus society.
If a business that largely employs parttime workers, suggests to some of its staff that they need to go fulltime, because that is what the business needs, and they recognise the gifts, abilities, talents, and ethic of those staff being asked, initially this is regarded as a positive move, for worth and value are now placed within the workplace, rather than elsewhere, and so the be asked to extend your hours, and go fulltime is seen as a complement or even as a confirmation of their identity. The problem then arises that once the identity is primarily found in work, rather than in relationship or family in particular, then the roll of parent is no longer seen as a primary roll, but as a secondary one.
Additionally to this, the work ethic is then brought home, so the family then functions as a work place rather than as a family home. Parents become functional people, doing the functions of a household, shopping, washing, cooking, cleaning, tidying, rather than those people who the rest of the family should be able to relate too as relatives, loved ones, people who care not just function. The living place then becomes a house not a home.
Young people have been castigated heavily in our press over a number of years now, for a variety of reasons including: disrespect, rudeness, loitering, threatening behaviour, and that is just to name a few complaints, but the fundamental question surely shouldn’t be thrown at the young people, but those who place young people in those situations, and that responsibility has to lie with business leaders. For if business leaders are single mindedly looking for their profits, and gaining them regardless of the cost elsewhere, then this by default will pull parents away from their kids, and therefore, young people will no longer have the family construct to relate in, learn in, and understand social values.
Earlier I made reference to the existence of child minders, rap-around care, and extended schools, but these cannot take the place of the environment of the family. These provisions are more about control rather than the family environment which is about relationships. I am sure, and know for a fact that many of those involved in child care, and provision for young people, do it with the best of heart and intention, but this surely cannot replace the position of the family parents, and the rolls they have within that environment.
Respect for others comes out of learning to respect authority within a relationship status as opposed to a control status. Statements such as “that child is out of control”, are quite possibly true in today’s society, for young people today no longer learn to respect authority through relationship, but through control, and thus they themselves attempt to control their own environments.
For me within this question of family and work, there are possibly two large questions, where the foundation for society lies, and where identity primarily lies. For me the foundation of society can never be found within the constructs of business, but within the principles of relationship, relating to family members, to others within communities, and even relating to god, never in self interest, or self promotion. Thus our identity lies primarily within our status in our family, a son, a daughter, a parent. Greater efforts need to be made in the balance between family and work if society is not to degenerate further over the coming years. For if we allow business, and business ethics to exert power and control within those environments where relationships should be the primary element, then we no longer can blame those who are consequences of others decisions, and responsibility for family breakdown, and community breakdown, will lie with those at the heart of the business community. And the household will turn into that functional place of the dysfunctional family.
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