Scarred leadership 

So I toyed with entitling this post Scarred leadership, or vulnerable leadership particularly as it relates to an earlier post in part looking at the issue of vulnerability.

Having now had the stitches removed from my oporation, it has struck me that i will have to live with the scars from the oporation, the scars will never completely totally disappear.

The challenge or question for me, is how do i live with that knowledge, but also with the reality fo the scars.

Life leaves us with many scars, teh process of having the oporation on my back has made me revisit happenings in my past, around losing my eyesight and has made me more aware of things i went through that i was previously unaware of.

I, We, live with so many scars, so many things that have happened in our lives, the challenge is for us more around how do we live the lives that God has for us wwith the scars and vulnerability of our lives?

As I have prayed and reflected upon this, it struck me, that Jesus also had to do some of this. His scars from his crucifixion never left him! thomas asked to see the wounds, he was given the opportunity to place hsi hands in the wounds, the scars ofa  all he went through were there for for people to see, and yet Jesus was able to carry these scars live in the vulnerability, and be all that his father wanted him to be.

There can be no more vulnerable place than be aniled to the cross, naked and beaten, and then to live with the scars of all that happening.

As i reflect upon my life, and the life that christ is calling me to live, i am increasingly aware of the scars, the vulnerability, but yet the reality of christ with me through all of this, and  guiding me to a beter place, a place where i can live with those scars, that vulnerability, and live the life he has for me.

no doubt as I continue my journey through my sbbatical there is much more to learn, to reflect upon,  for me to realise and grow in, but recognising the scars first, the vulnerability, is often a  painful place, but real place to start, and this is where i start from. 


ÏÏÏÏÏÏÏÏ’ve got your back!’A common used phrase in war films or programmes with the police in, because the reality is that the back is possibly one of our most vulnerable places! We don’t know what is happening behind us, we can’t control what is going on behind us, and so anything can happen to our back at any time, so it is important that people do have our back!!

I have learnt the importance of this recently, as i have had an opporation on my back removing a couple of things of it that the hospital felt they needed to remove! lieing there, not sure what was going on, what they were doing, not able to go anywhere, move to far at all, not to mention all the historical stuff that kept coming to mind re previous visits tohospital i felt so vulnerable!!

and there is the afterwards as well! with 2 lots of stitches in my bac, needing to be careful of how i move, how people bump into me, how i do things, how i sit, and much more!!! feeling vulnerable is somewhat of an under statement at times!!! makes me so grateful to have such an amazing wife and family who have my back, who go out of their way to ensure my safety, think creatively about how i can sitll do certain things, yes indeed they have my back!!!

but vulnerability takes us to a whole different place with Jesus! that place of turst, reliance, and so on. There is a worship song that has the words in it “trust without borders”, and at this time of having the stitches and trusting the doctors, my wife, my family to a greater extent than maybe i have had to do for quite some time, these words have relly struck home to me. i want to be that person who trusts Jesus without borders!!!

Vulnerability leaves us open, feeling of not being in control, feeling of being exposed, feeling of others guiding our lives a little! a very strange place to be indeed!!

There is much more to write, to think to process about vulnerability, for now, as i am so grateful to god for all he ahs done for me recently, for the gift of such an amazing wife and family, by me throughout this time, in my vulnerability, i am going further than ever before as the song says, and i am needing to trust without borders, and am learning what this means.

Learning community 

S as many of you will remember sadly, we had to cancil the learning community for youth leaders and their teams back in January due to heavy amounts of snow in Sheffield.

Well exciting news, the restart is now in sight!!!

we are launching and starting the learning community for youth leaders and their teams in Sheffield on the 5/6 June. and it would be great if you weren’t able to jin us in starting in January, if you want to start with us and join with us in June, then this can still appen.

Please go to and click on learning communities and info will be up over the next couple of weeks for you to book in and with info abut wha is happening.

We are relly excited about is starting,a dn at the planning meeting last week, we had a great time planning for all that ggod will do amonggst some great teams of leaders and teams working with young people across this nation.

So do check out and we shall se

Words for RTR 

So as March is the first month for us as we move into a new status and Andy becomes employed  by the charity, some people have been praying, and we wanted to share these exciting words with you:

The first word was relating to the process that andy has been through in getting Rolltherock to thsi point. There was a picture of God emtying Andy of all that has gone before, but now a refilling of all that God has for him and for Rolltherock in the future.

The second word was related to a bank, and the idea of interest rates, and how they go and up down, and the word was, that from time onwards the interest rate for Rolltherock would increase not decrease, and that more and more would become interested in all that Rolltherock was involved in and doing.

The third word, was a picture of andy walking across a narrow plank, but as he walked there were lots of people cheering him on, encouraging him to reach where he was aiming to go, and there were lots of people waiting for him also at the end point as well as cheering him on the journey.

these are exciting words, and give the impression that god is with us as we move foreard, there is lots ahead for us, and there will be lots of people who will encourage us, and go on the journey with us. Please do pray for these words, and any others we get from God as we move forward.